Ménage à Trois (Alone in a Hotel)

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70 words
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Thin walls reveal, too well,
the aspirations of my neighbors.

Quiet moans mingle
with the drone of TV,
a strange mélange of real
and imagined eroticism.

As their headboard
bangs a jumbled tattoo,
I join them, gasping
like a hooked carp at our shared
moment of completion.

I wonder if they
search for a tissue,
too.


[A special 'Thank You' to Angeline, who generously provided some much needed editing.]

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8 Comments
dcpoet44dcpoet44almost 19 years ago
this is great.....

it makes me reflect back sometime ago in hotel too. but i am not going to go any further with that. it's a perfect piece that many can relate too. it's the ending that i love the most as shown below:

I wonder if they

search for a tissue,

too.

***

nice job!!!......don

Bridget69Bridget69almost 19 years ago
Good

Especially at this part,

"As their headboard

bangs a jumbled tattoo,

I join them, gasping

like a hooked carp at our shared

moment of completion."

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 19 years ago
reeling the reader in...

I really enjoyed the originality of this work:

quote:

As their headboard

bangs a jumbled tattoo,

I join them, gasping

like a hooked carp at our shared

moment of completion

Just what I love a writer seeks out to describe the ordinary in an original and extra ordinary vision...use of some great rhetorical weaving!

Du Lac

mentioned in the Sunday reviews...

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 19 years ago
been there.....

...in some other hotel room, an inadvertant audio-eur. This was well done. Thanks.

Tess

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 19 years ago
very good

~Syn

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