Midsummer

Poem Info
156 words
4.2
1k
0
3
Poem does not have any tags
Share this Poem

Font Size

Default Font Size

Font Spacing

Default Font Spacing

Font Face

Default Font Face

Reading Theme

Default Theme (White)
You need to Log In or Sign Up to have your customization saved in your Literotica profile.
PUBLIC BETA

Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.

You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.

Click here
jayce1066
jayce1066
34 Followers

The path winds between bois d'arc and honey locust
trees, meanders down the hill to the clearing where
the coven will celebrate Midsummer tonight. Sun's
about down. Off to the east, a couple

of owls whoo-whoo back and forth. A can
of lamp oil bumps against my leg
as I thread my way past branches sticking
out into the trail. My task is to refill the tiki torches

around the ritual circle. The moon is new tonight,
we'll need some extra light. The torches' smoke will help
keep the bugs at bay. I step into the clearing, see something
flying directly      at me. An enormous barred owl

lands on an eye-level branch a dozen
paces away. I freeze as Owl
folds his wings. He leans forward,
transfixes me with his dark eyes,  

examines me. Breathless seconds crawl
past. Owl nods his head as if in
approval, spreads his wings, leaps
forward, vanishes into the twilight.

jayce1066
jayce1066
34 Followers
Please rate this poem
The author would appreciate your feedback.
  • COMMENTS
3 Comments
twelveoonetwelveooneover 9 years ago
5ed

yes lines are a little too prosy, here is the thing that bothers me, the first three stanzas have longer lines than the last two, now you are running over the stanzas, is there a reason for this? If no, you are setting up a visual handicap for yourself.

Sound these two lines, this is the stuff you want:

I freeze as Owl folds his wings.

transfixes me with his dark eyes, examines me.

repetitions of sound.

TrixareforkidsTrixareforkidsover 9 years ago
From mundane to magic

Nice progression and expression of a fleeting magical moment.

Great set up and setting as well.

greenmountaineergreenmountaineerover 9 years ago

I loved the mystery in this; a reader can do a lot with it. Some of the lines seemed more like prose, but all in all an enjoyable read.

Share this Poem