Mike Hammer!byUncle Pervey©
Everyone knows all about Mike Hammer,
He's a two-fisted gun-shootin gum shoe!
A hard-hitting beer guzzling "jammer,"
But with broads he didn't know what to do!
He was big and tough was old Mike Hammer,
He attracted the broads both far and nigh!
But the poor feller was just a "shammer,"
He never knew what to do "by and by!"
Oh this "slap 'em" and "smack 'em" Mike Hammer,
He could scare and terrify the "Wise Guys!"
But to lovely "Babes" he was a "scammer,"
If a "Lady" got close she'd be surprised!"
"Elocution" didn't fit Mike Hammer,
He could be "eloquent" when on the "make."
But the "good lookin' broads" made him stammer,
He'd score once in awhile and say "That's Jake!"
He was big and real tough and a "Jammer!"
But the broads found out he was a "Shammer!"
They could tell because he would just "Stammer!"
When he got really nervous he'd "Yammer!"
He could talk shit and be a real "Scammer!"
This hard-fisted gun-shooter Mike Hammer!!