Milking the Serpent

Milking the Serpent

I cannot give
What I don't possess
I told my new lover
Who whispered "I love you"
Into my ear
Over and over again

Each time he said it
There was a pregnant pause
A vacuum in the space
Where the appropriate rejoinder
Should have burse forth
And shimmered

My inner voice screamed
I don't love you nor like you
You put yourself out there
To be used
Set yourself up
When you slithered into my life
Like a tame rattle snake

It was sulfur from his breath
Which lingered in the air between us
When first we met

The scent of temptation

He sensed my desperation
Saw it in my eyes
Then bowed and hissed "let me help
I have everything you need"

I'd seen him at the shelter the night before
A rickety scarecrow
Skeletal in greasy trousers
Rumpled shirt and stained tie

His face a death mask

A crooked jack-o-lantern grin
Revealing rows of
Rotten teeth

His best feature
His eyes – Paul Newman blue
Registered my despair
Clocked it in
He waited until morning to strike

Out in the yard
Waiting for transportation
To take me nowhere
He offered a free ride
"I have bus fare," he said
"We can go out together
Go wherever you like"

I can handle this I thought
As I smiled, shouldered my pack
And walked out of the line
Of the miserable and forgotten

I can be pretty for him I thought
Be nice
Cheer him up
Give him some ego gratification
Some macho coinage
With the other men

("He's got a girlfriend?" they whisper
And snort in disbelief)

Earn my fare

He was slimy - a serpent
That spit as he spoke through his
Small, snake like mouth and decaying teeth

We went off together

Having no money,
He succored the crowd at the train station
Taking in spare change and dollar bills
From tired travelers who paid rather than
Be bothered by the strangely emaciated man
In the greasy pants, stained tie and rumpled shirt
Who talked too loud about nonsense

He filled his pockets
With his spoils

And used the money as a lure
Brought me presents
Small ones at first
Coffee and a bagel

His venom was surprisingly sweet
For such an ugly creature

I milked him shamelessly
Yet he grew stronger
In my presence
As though when I took what he offered
He, in return, gained power by
Sucking out my life force

When he got his check
He offered more
Take it
I told myself
And as I took he spent and spent

I lived in the moment
With him I went where I needed to go
Took care of business
But at his leisure
For I was trapped by him
He had me on a loose tether

I love you
He hissed into my ear

His repugnant kisses and groping
Withered my soul
My mind flew off to other, better times
My heart bled while
My cold, calculating ego
Milked him for all he was worth

Ultimately it became time
For final payment
The thought of spending a night with him
Revolted me

Hookers do it every day
I told myself angrily
I learned how to move
From Lovers long lost

We came together
Like two asps copulating
In the desert sun
I wrapped myself around him
Writhing and wriggling just so
To get the thing done
As quickly as possible

I ignored the pain

Mentally continents away
Wishing I was dead
I squeezed out his juices

He spent and spent and spent

To return the favor
He held me tightly
Head between my legs

I tried to crawl away
All reason fled
My traitorous body responded
Fast and harshly
I was horrified
But couldn't stop
The wrenching, sickening seizure-like
Orgasm from shooting through me

Finally it ended
He was defanged
I was corrupt
But cured

I'm no courtesan
To squeeze and milk
Whatever slithers my way
Taming the snake
Gaining creature comforts
Through sycophancy, lies and deception
Dead inside
Wondering how deep to plunge in the knife
Where to cut

Deciding whether the knife would be
For him or for me

Ks 9/07