Missed Opportunity

That little whore
that’s what I used to think
about that girl who wanted more
than just her choice of those
yet to be chosen men
one of those who seemed to enjoy
playing with a toy that had
another little girl’s name inscribed
I just could not understand why

Then I saw you
my reflection in your illuminated blue eyes
revealed my instantaneous lust
a fiery explosion that went off in my head
whose sparks settled in lower regions
where they tickled and titillated from this point forward

Everything started easy and carefree
a smile you thought was welcoming and innocent
hid a hollow craving, incessant yearning
a compliment here, a filthy joke there
nothing to be overtly concerned about
but one sweet day something clicked
my desire flashed as you caught my eye
I knew you knew and you knew I knew
but lips remained sealed for as long as one can stand

Thinking of the possibilities my imagination started churning
watching you at your desk
imagining slipping into your lap
running my warm, wet tongue up the side of your neck
a trail of saliva left up to your ear
sucking on your lobe as I massage your crotch with an eager hand
feeling your warmth and your rough forceful hands
rubbing my bottom and pawing at my breasts
(would you if given the opportunity?)
my lips meeting yours in a passionate kiss
feeling your salesman’s quick, strong tongue
slide between my lips
sending an electric current
to my wanting, waiting hips
and then the phone beeps at me
breaking up my fantasy
or maybe not quite
4051
I pick up and listen to your voice purr into my ear
you wanting some trivial matter taken care of
or possibly someone who will listen to you
tell your stories of war and peace and everything in between
should I tell you of my thoughts
moments before you called?
Oh no, not now, too shy
and part of me still shamed
by that wedding ring that seems to wink at me
all the way across the showroom floor
but I think you know, I hope you know

As the months pass
my desire ventures out more and more
tempting fate, daring it to change my world
to quench my thirst and feed my hunger
wondering if you ever could
if you ever would
grant my all-encompassing desire
if only I could ask…
but your compliments are more free flowing
and your nervousness at the thought of being left alone with me
seems to suggest that I do not desire alone
the possibilities again start whirling in my head
swirling in nether regions
imagining being caught upstairs alone
with you
dropping money in a safe
we have every right to be here
together
alone
my desire thrusts me forward
I fall into your side
and push you to the floor
our eyes meet and the flames rise up
eager to feed
my tongue lashes out to meet your warm and waiting lips
you grope me as I rise up to my knees, straddling you
your hands seem everywhere at once
my eyes cannot, will not leave yours
for the voice of desire speaks through them
and demands an enraptured audience
I claw open your shirt
wanting to feel you
you pull my top over my head and my bra seems to disappear
years of your experience leave me impressed I must say
I lower myself onto you
feel your chest against mine
and underneath my skirt
feel your hardening cock
pressure against my panties
which hide my wet and wanting lips
with one hand I slide my panties down just far enough
to feel your cock against my clit
and then…
you walk downstairs
jerking me out of my fantasy
reminding me of how you wouldn’t let
the possibility present itself
the torment remains

I gave up hope
and tried to be satisfied
with the loops of fantasies playing in my head
getting more complex
more intense with every casual touch
but in a quite so subtle way
the touches cease to be so casual
more longing, less excuse
and I start to wonder all over again
if I tried to push you to the breaking point
would you break?
is your desire anywhere close to mine
or is your ego just enjoying the attention
of a cute, young little girl?
How am I to know?
My comments become more overt
more direct
wanting to know if you ever would
such coy ludicrous acts
only half-teasingly inviting you under my desk
suddenly the fantasy flashes before my eyes
picturing your head between my warm, soft thighs
finding another use for your salesman’s quick, strong tongue
imagining you lapping up the mess made
every time you pass me by
every time your voice is amplified
every time your extension appears on my phone
4051
oh yes my darling
this desire is for you
my moans grow louder
as I feel your tongue search up
into my wet and willing pussy
and fantasy is broken again
by some insistent salesman
wanting a package from the closet
no one but me and a few others is allowed into
power and blame
one in the same
so I abandon my fantasy world for now
always being stopped before the act is complete

As time passes
you express your desire more and more
so direct about the possibility
of nude photography
it seems so easy for you to suggest
I put myself out, is this some sort of test?
I guess I fail for the pictures never appear
though I must admit I had to turn the possibility
over in my head
but I couldn’t, I wouldn’t
I’m really not that kind of girl
am I?

Slowly things take on quite a different tone
you try to call my bluff
and I am so eager to show you my hand
for I guarantee it is quite impressive
I finally decided I would be that kind of girl
I would join that force of whores
who play with others toys
but I must wait to see
as you try to call my bluff
I try to call yours
words exchanged between us
confuse the issue at hand
not sure of what you’re telling me
one moment eager and the next distant
as you waffle on the issue
I reach for you more and more
I find quite natural ways
to touch you
your hair, your hand, your shave-roughened cheek
your forever-twitching thigh
awaiting your decision

one night we are alone in your car
driving me to the parking lot
I decide to push the issue
I pause not wanting to get out of the car
you scramble for excuses
why you should keep your hands to yourself
and yet one currently rests on my knee
sliding up my thigh
giggling with pleasure I lean into you
allowing my hand to freely explore your thighs
sliding it up to your crotch were I feel you hardened
this thing I’ve only imagined thus far
now here, now eager, now telling me what I needed to hear
now I know this decision is a difficult one
now I see that your desire is real
now I see I am truly temptation personified
part of me wants to crawl into your lap
the way I have fantasized so many nights
to guide your hand into my panties
so you can feel the river you’ve called forth
surging between my thighs
to finally push you to the breaking point
but then I see the man you are
only human, so you crave
but truly the desire rests within you to be good
obedient and well-behaved
and suddenly I don’t know what to do
here I sit with this man I’ve craved for so long
finally with his hands on me
finally with the possibility here for the taking
and finally…I think maybe another night
that maybe I was wrong and this isn’t right
and as my pussy lips swell and a river runs through them
I quite innocently kiss you on the cheek
and tell you good night
go to my car and kick myself for not taking advantage
but knowing that deep down I’ve learned how to care about you
would you ever understand that?
how my lust transformed into a contorted version of love?

And I smile at you as I drive away
and I realize this is no fairy tale
and I still have to deal with the next day
but for now I go home and flee to my room
turn on the stereo and remove all my clothes
furiously masturbate to your haunting image
still feeling your hands so close to my lips
imagining you above me riding my hips
craving so intense
desire almost painful
one orgasm, two orgasm, three orgasm, four
wanting you needing you more and more and more

The next day I see you
your early shift today
so at least tonight I don’t have to struggle with what to say
but you once more torment me before you leave
you pass my desk and meet my eyes
you can’t control a dirty little smile that sneaks onto your face
I return it eagerly, willingly part of me is sorry to say
regret is starting to creep into my consciousness
if only I had taken advantage of your weak point that night
my craving wouldn’t currently be multiplied
your beautiful blue eyes blind me momentarily
the blood gushes in my ears numbing me to everything
my heart’s pounding drowns at all other noises
all I want is you
and then you leave, walk out the door
and from this point on you don’t want me anymore
your self-control returns, gives you strength to withstand my flirtation
it seems that never again will you give me this power of temptation
you still flirt and tease but only in the safety
of situations in which you know I will not risk
and I’m thrown back into my tormenting fantasies
caught alone with you in the upstairs computer room
I reach for files on a shelf and imagine your warm rough hand
graze the back of my thigh
slide up to my unprotected bottom and over my hips
feel you lean into me, your hot breath in my ear, your hardened cock against my behind
I turn to look at you and see you are paying no attention
for a moment I feel rejected and alone
I missed my opportunity and another one will not come
a fortune cookie once relayed to me these profoundly irritating words
“the worst part of not giving into temptation is that it may never come again”
the way you avoid me these days seem to reveal this as true
and I must admit I’m a little lost without your attention

I sit at my desk all alone all night on the second floor
my pussy lips swell knowing you’re below me on the first floor
I breathe in quick and deep every time I hear you climb the stairs
I’m dizzy with arousal as you strike up friendly, familiar conversation with me
and as my juices flow preparing my pussy for a longed-for ride
reality kicks in to inform me that I already made my decision
I chose love over lust that night and I must pay the consequences
the pain of it is that I got nothing in return
for it was not my love I chose, it was his
he loves his wife, I’ve heard him say it a few times
and though jealousy has never been my reaction
(since after all it wasn’t his heart that I craved)
one emotion would still have to be sacrificed for the other
I ran the sword through my own clit in order to save the love that is there
for I’ve met her and she seems like quite a lady, a truly beautiful woman
and though I guess I should applaud myself
for being strong in the presence of a man’s weakness
(since this is what all the fairy tales say)
the truth of the matter is I still desperately want my way
and, of course, I walk away feeling repulsed by my own contradiction
feeling strangled by culturally enforced inhibitions
and feeling dehydrated by the perpetual flow of my unused juices
and I don’t know what to do with myself anymore
this childish, vice-burdened adorable man
elevated himself higher than he ever should’ve been
I painfully smile as it comes to my attention
his every fault, his every vice, his every sin, his every contradiction
is all I ever wanted back when I believed that love was an undeniable end
in another place, another time
this man is mine