- Non-Erotic Poetry
- MLP ~ Cometh the Wild
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Click hereMLP ~ Cometh the Wild ~
Thunder that rumbles across a cloudless sky
is the sound of an ancient wild and free pride
for that which creates wind
on a windless day
is coming
they're coming
they are coming this way!
Beating the earth in a drumming sound
hundreds of poundings pounding the ground
as frisky as a spring day
in unison they bray
coming
yes coming
they are coming this way
Mane in the wind created by flight
massive muscles moving of strength and might
herd of the many the local and strays
gather together on gathering day
they're coming
yes, coming
wild horses are coming this way.
- COMMENTS
LeBrozover 18 years agoThe rhythm of coming and coming
creates tension -
and builds the image
of the thundering herd.
But you knew that -
well done once again, Art.
twelveooneover 18 years ago"gather together on gathering day
they're coming
yes, coming
wild horses are coming this way."
what else can I say? you here, have mastered the art of repititon - put it to music
"Beating the earth in a drumming sound
hundreds of poundings pounding the ground"
with drums
on the slight downside, the first two lines could and SHOULD be stonger
Thunder that rumbles across a cloudless sky - change cloudless to something else
This is your weakest line, kind of old, kind of akward:
"is the sound of an ancient wild and free pride"
Anonymousover 18 years agostrong pen for you...bow to the muse...you did him well...blue
Anonymousover 18 years agoThis is full of rhythm. My new favorite of your
out west poems. sandspike
