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Click hereShe dozes, dreams away.
While he, wants to play.
Partially parts, sleeping thighs.
Tongue begins a lapping dive.
Hot, tight crevices, he does
clean. Awakening with a smile,
she knows ... his scheme. Wiggles
letting loose, spastic seasonings
stream.
Sated ... Satisfied is she.
Rolling him over, answering
his plea. Saddling upon his
horn of need. Bareback riding,
she breaks in, his steed.
Galloping away with the wind.
His spirit runs, seeps into skin.
Guttural whimpers, letting loose.
Loving, his early morning Muse ...
it goes around our house. Nicely done. I don't know enough about poetry to give constructive critism, but I can tell you that I liked it!
Save a horse, ride a cowboy. What a way to start the day. The writing was as playful as the subject matter.
ty,bd
Unconstructive feedback and mindless praise are both meaningless. Both of your poems posted today are poorly written. Though I do believe you have potential. You are still learning. Try to avoid fantasy and erotica for awhile and start with something simple. Check out your environment, and think about your everyday life and what goes on in it. Write about that. Write about a man you see on the street or what you see outside your window. You should be able to make almost anything into poetry. Just describe what's in front of you.
you have really come
into some word play
of what I have read of
you recently !!!
You are gaining the sweet
possession of sheer visual,
and this was no exception!
Enjoyed the ride !<grins>
-sGp-