Mother's Loose Caboose Goose

[NOTE: These rhymes are in no way intended for under-aged persons. They are adult parodies of well known rhymes but for adults only.]
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JACK POT
(to the meter of "Jack Sprat")

Jack Pot could eat no twat,
His wife could eat no dong,
Quite frankly, between you and me,
Their marriage wont last long.

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PETER CHEATER
(to the meter of "Peter Pumpkin Eater")

Peter, Peter lousy cheater,
Had a wife until he beat her.
She refused to pay his bail,
and so they kept his ass in jail.

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OLD MOTHER HOOCHIE
(to the meter of "Old Mother Hubbard")

Old mother Hoochie,
Played with her Koochie,
To see if the thing would squirt.
Excited, she peed,
but could only succeed,
In rubbing so hard it hurt.

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LITTLE MISS MUFF
(to the meter of "Little Miss Muffet")

Little Miss Muff,
Lay in the buff,
On her front porch all day.
Along came a masher,
Asked if he may thrash her,
Said Little Miss Muff, "No way."

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JACK AND JILL

Jack thought Jill was on the pill,
So all night long, he boffed her.
Jill was not and so they got,
the one for the morning after.

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PATTY FAKED
(To the meter of "Patty Cake")

Patty faked, Patty faked or-gas-um.
Gasping and moaning, pretending to cum.
She sold it and sold and shouted with glee.
And swore it was the best, but never fooled me.

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LITTLE BOY BLUE

Little Boy Blue come blow your horn,
The sheeps in the meadow look better than porn,
Where is that boy when he should be asleep,
He's out in the pasture tupping the sheep.

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RICKY WAS A WUSSY
(to the meter of "Ring Around the Rosie")

Ricky was a wussy,
Didn't care for pussy,
Lasses asses,
He won't go down.

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SHECKY'S SHLONG WAS SIX INCH
(to the tune of "sing a song of sixpence")

Shecky's shlong was six inch,
"The KING," he said, "am I!"
'fore a twenty incher,
unzipped his fly.
when their flys were open,
The two compared their things.
Everyone saw Shecky wasn't fit to be the king.

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GIORNO PORNO
(to the meter of "Georgie Porgie")

Giorno Porno made a porn flick,
Paid a girl to suck his dick.
Giorno's Porno flick never sold,
'Cause she was eighty nine years old.

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I LIKE LITTLE PUSSY

I like little pussy, her lips are so wet.
The more I tease her the wetter they get.
So I'll not push my luck, Nor move to quick,
But if I can't have pussy at least suck my dick.

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HUMPTER DUMPED HER
(to the meter of "Humpty Dumpty")

Humpter dumped her, now she won't call.
Humpter saw her down at the mall,
slutting and flirting with several young men.
Now Humpter wants to get with her again.

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