- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Mud Dive
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Sanitized, like a glass wiped clean
I understand
but don’t say a word
further
down the road
there may be a day
when I get a little dirty
like splotches of mud
beat down by pouring rain
until they spew forth
onto everything in reach.
Those could be my words.
It’s been a long time
since I’ve had a mud bath
or dripped in catharsis
or been wiped clean.
- COMMENTS
LeBrozabout 16 years agoSeems like this is touched with a bit of regret or depression; of something missed or longed for. Enough to give the reader pause to think.
ElmerGlewabout 16 years agoI quite liked it, though there are a few details that, to me anyway, seem just a touch off. "further" seems to start a sentence, which means it should be capitalized to be consistent with the rest of the poem (also period on line preceeding). Also, I don't feel it is strong enough in the poem to stand on its own. You might consider attaching it to the beginning of the following line. I think "beat down" should be "beaten down" though I could be wrong--I am no English major. Similarly "dripped in catharsis" seems off to me. Perhaps "dipped in catharsis" or "dripped with catharsis" would seem to make more sense.
Anyway, just my impressions. Nice poem.
