my ache

Smiles swirling by caught on a whimsical breeze
Dancing laughter heard long in the distance
The empty silence of a conversation left long ago
Haunting notes in the back of my mind
Distances far driven from truth
I’ve come to understand myself more
I’m not sure I like myself more
But at least I’m not being fooled
Beauty seems like a mask I wear
Are we all ugly sometimes, inside and out
I’m a lover, a liar, a mother, a friend
Mystical tendrils of realizations just out of reach
The hardest truths are those most vehemently denied
I’m your enemy, your relief, your shadow, your light
Boundless and far-flung we stretch
beyond all understanding of our words
I know only questions, within all are the answers
You’re a stranger, a partner, a memory, an empty stare
My not so quiet pain is reflected in your eyes
An unfamiliar gait taking you beyond my reach
You’re my answer, my salvation, my consort, my scrutinizer
This is my ache