tagNon-Erotic PoetryMy Dog 'Slim.'

My Dog 'Slim.'

byJack Gates©


It's strange what we do to relieve boredom,
my getting a dog was purely a whim.
I didn't take the trouble to work out the outcome,
when I purchased my mongrel dog, 'Slim.'
We stood and looked at each other at the kennel,
weighing up who would get the better of who.
With sad, sad eyes and wagging tail,
Slim knew exactly what I was going to do!

When I put on his new collar and lead he was excited,
so excited, he peed all down my trouser leg.
At the command, 'Walkies!' he jumped about delighted,
then he proved how nicely he could sit up and beg.
There was no way we could pass a tree or a lamp-post,
my dog Slim just had to deposit his scent.
After a strength trial to see who could pull the most,
when he chased a flipping fleeing cat! We both went!

The kennel did not warn me about Slim's addiction,
a strong liking for furniture varnish and paint.
Now, all my friends think I! have an affliction,
for bare wood and it is I! who need some restraint.
A thick coat of mustard seemed to do the trick,
that is until Slim changed his eating habits.
He gorged on carpets and slippers, making him sick,
T'was hard to explain my Son's missing rabbits!

Slim is definitely not a hit with the neighbours,
he digs for bones under their flower-beds and lawns.
It costs me dearly, for all their extra labours,
heavy bribes, so that they would draw in their horns.
For all my skinned knuckles and scraped sore knees,
Slim's great company! I couldn't bare to be apart.
For all his bad habits and flesh hungry fleas,
this mongrel of mine has stolen my soft, soft heart!

Jack Gates

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