My Illusion

Sitting by the lake, my mind adrift, as the early morning dew caresses my face with tiny kisses. My breathing is deep and sure as i meditate, my eyes trained on the pool of water, dark and murky before me.

The water turns thick as i look, without my eyes restoring themselves with blinking ~~ memorized as my mind drifts ~~ my mind searching for Him once more.

Appearing in the depths of the waters taking form before my eyes, my hero, the hero of my dreams ~ my illusion ~ my desire. He forms before me, being gentle but strong in spirit, strength, and knowledge. His looks, nay, they are not important, and the face cannot even be seen, but for His eyes and His lips.

His eyes being deep pools of passion and tenderness for me alone. He looks at me with respect and honor, he thinks of me as His equal and His best friend.

He looks into my face and into my eyes and there, He finds love, honor, truthfulness, tenderness, an inner strength, and a willingness to listen and obey His every request. He finds respect for Him and the giving of my power to Him. He sees my passion as He has seen many times boiling for Him. He sees the unspeakable ~~ the desires i hold deep within, the ones i cringe for having. In my eyes, He sees my soul.

Yet, He still admires me. He still wants to hold me and take power over my body one more time, He wants me to serve him as i have served no other. He wants to walk me down paths that i fear, yet long to go. He wants to prove once again that He owns me ~~ all of me, my mind, my body, my heart, but most of all, my soul and spirit.

As He looks at me, the desire is obvious on my face as well as in my eyes. i know He can read me so well, for i am the one who gave Him the clues to discovering me, for learning me, to know me as no other does. i have given Him the key to my soul, as i know He will cherish and protect it.

The very second that i recognize Him, my heart skips a beat, my full intake of breath lifts my breasts closer to Him as they swell at His closeness. My body starts to tremble ever so slightly although he cannot perceive it. i see His passion and desire for me and lower my eyes not being able to hold His gaze any longer, else He will see my uncontrollable desire for him.

My very senses heighten, as i want to hear the very air He breathes and the beating of His heart. i want to listen for His blood as it circulates through His veins. i do not want to miss a word He speaks so i watch His lips through my lashes.

As my eyes train on His lips and finding them in a soft smile, seeing Him recognize me as well. His lips, soft to the touch or hard and firm, depending on His mood or His needs.

Today, they are soft, making my lips desire to touch them and my fingers to trace them with my eyes closed so that i can burn the image into my brain and be able to recognize these lips in the pitch black of a moonless night. So if these lips were to touch me anywhere, at anytime, i would know them to belong to Him.

Returning His soft smile with one of my own, as i sit still and my pulse races. Longing to hear His words slipping from between these lips giving me a command, or beckoning me, or giving me a challenge, or as they whisper my name, or even better, the simple words "good girl", the sweetest words on earth.

My heart skips another beat as i think about the words "good girl" and how those two words stir my soul as much as any other words ever could. These words building the fire within my soul and send my spirit from me to Him, making me totally passive and willing and able to serve to my fullest. The best praise this one could ever hear from the One she walks with ~~ good girl.

i notice that it has started to rain and my hero is lost to the murky lake waters once again. It is then that i know that it is not raining, but only, my tears that are rolling down my face.

My illusion, now gone from me once again, i stand and continue my walk alone.