My Own Disaster....

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I feel so calm and cold
like a corpse my body lies
motionless....

the words i speak
the things i do to him
they are just
meaningless...

My mind spinning in circles
around my thoughts, it's
senseless....

I dont know what to do
when the end of my rope
pulls tight I feel totally
defensless....

should i leave....
should i stay....

if i leave will they think,
I'm being selfish....

if i stay will they think,
I'm being foolish....

my unwillingness
to try does it leave me
on the edge of disaster....

Is it something i did
or something he didnt do....

shall i stay
and live like maiden
obeying her master....

or shall i leave
and be the master
of my own disaster....

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