My Own Enemy

“Don’t hurt me”,
I asked.
Unfair request
For a January night.
We didn’t know
What advanced
Through the storm.

You withdrew
Your hand
Your presence
Your warmth in the
Cold night.

I do not place blame.
You listened.
You responded.
Your warmth returned home
To its rightful place.

Alone in the dark,
I froze
An icicle formed
On my nose
Covered my heart
My head grew numb.

I turned in to myself
I read the depths of my heart
I saw the hole there
Shaped like you
A cartoon cutout
In an inked wall.

It was not your fault
I was too far gone
Floating in the air
Above the canyon
Looking down
Feeling like Wile E. Coyote
The Inevitable in my eyes.

Summer came
With its green grass
Your warmth returned
I kept your space open
You settled in
Like a cat.

I have drawn you in
Like an innocent spider
No harm intended
Operating on instinct and
Gut alone.
I weave a web about you
Do not want to let you go.

I was reminded
You are not mine
The silver strands vanished.
I must remember
My heart will lie
Fool my head
Blind it with thread

If I freeze again
I know it is not you
Not you I blame
But my heart
Which follows its own path
Regardless of my plans.