Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click hereHere exposed, lies my sin
The secret thoughts I have within
Possession, fear,
The pain, sincere,
The lucid screams and rosy skin
The crimson cheeks of her chagrin
Orgasmic stains,
Rattling chains,
The wicked quirk of my dark grin
As I indulge in secret sin
Well done! Thank you for sharing your secret! I felt a little like a voyeur and I enjoy that feeling! Good writing!
Another one that made me squirm in my seat....but in a good way ;)
Well done!
not seen your poems before, noira, but thanks to espie consider us introduced :)
i didn't find any trouble with the 4,4/2,2/4,4/2,2/4,4 rhythm, and the rhyme scheme came easily enough, enhanced by your nifty use of assonance and consonance.
i'd take a good look at the punctuation you've employed in places - i was left feeling something was missing in some instances and, in others, the punctuation was unnecessary.
fave lines?
The crimson cheeks of her chagrin
The wicked quirk of my dark grin
I think it would have worked better if each line had had the same metrical length, I found myself stopping and starting as I tripped over the different metres. Good try though and hope to see you submit more