- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Myopic
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Do you think I am blind,
or is it you that can not see
how words thought to be obtuse
cut most viciously?
Oh the duality of vision,
imperfect, limited, limitless,
whose perfect definitions hide
the sight of otherness.
Insinuations, flawed perception,
why can't it be just as seen
looking not into veiled meanings
hidden in poetic sheen.
- COMMENTS
wakingDownalmost 11 years agoThis is a wonderful exploration of perception. I find myself enjoying your works more and more. Please keep up the good work.
Angelineabout 11 years agoin a poem that's very much to the point and (imo) really well constructed. The rhyme is nicely off-kilter (I especially like "limitless" and "otherness" because that strophe keeps the whole poem from feeling too neat). The poem feels well balanced to me. My only nitpick is in that last strophe: "why can't it be just as seen" sounds kind of awkward, and I'm not sure the comma after "perception" is setting up the following line well. A colon might be better. It just feels like you've worked too hard to rhyme "seen" and "sheen." Another way around it might be:
"Insinuations, flawed perception,
why can't it just be seen
instead of veiled with meaning,
hidden in poetic sheen?"
Just a thought and my opinion. Overall a really good piece of writing. 5ed.
