- Non-Erotic Poetry
- New Mown Lawns
Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click here
New mown rows stripe carpets green
shadows play from trees between
new years buds amid their leaves
swaying softly in the springtime breeze
emerald trees against a sapphire sky
were feathered angels flit and fly
spring has come on sweet birdsong
passion wakes in days soon long.
- COMMENTS
Liarabout 20 years agoYou have a beautiful scene and a very strong, clear imagery in this poem. A good eye for fleeing details and a way to make simple things extraordinary.
However, to make it really perfect, you could had done some easy snipping and rearranging of words in some lines, that would had left you with a completely flawless meter and rhythm too. Since you aimed for structure and rhythm, you could had done it all the way..
Angelineabout 20 years agoand well stated. I'm not sure whether "years" and "were" should be "year's" and "where" or not. The terms are correct or not depending on how one reads the poem. If they are typos, your meaning isn't clear unless they're fixed. Nice work. I look forward to seeing more of your poems.
Anonymous commenter: I'm all for careful proofreading--no poem should be posted without a spelling check and proof for other errors, imo. And if I make a mistake I want to know. Bear in mind though that some poetry is deliberately ambiguous. That may not be the case here, but unless you're certain isn't it better to query than assume? :)
