Nightmare in Sarvodaya Nagar

8 hospitable place you've depicted

I do agree with gm on this that the second stanza could be culled to create the contrast that gives the relief. It lingers after reading the way nightmares do. Great piece ash

I liked this, Ash, with its gripping images and effective transition from repulsion to supplication all in the first stanza. "God...Allah...Ram/save me from harm" suggesting urgency was also effective. In fact, God...Allah...Ram rolls off the tongue real fast and sounds like one word.

I don't think stanza 2 was necessary. In my opinion the poem would have been better without it.

Fear and repulsion in a driving framework that compels the work forward at a harried pace. Excellent imagery and a riot of emotions that break like a wave upon the waking, as nightmares are wont to do. This certainly brightened my day.

Nightmares will end in your bed, fortunately- I like the feeling of urgency of the attempted flight!