- Non-Erotic Poetry
- No Doubt
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There was no doubt
Not this time
Precise polite
patient indisputable
the words were carved
Crafted in ambition
of comprehension
and clearness
Shot from
a competent tongue
and a clear voice
at Mach 1 through
the trembling strip
of heavy air between
lips and ear
still clear
and undistorted
"I'm in love with you"
It could had stopped
a crowded street
It stopped my incoherent
mumbling mantra of
embarrassed apologies
mid sentence mid breath mid thought
The fourth dimension
became fluttering shards
of past and present
taking clean painless cuts
into the future
halting my heart
at a thousand moments
before and behind
when the words cut in
through my muted mind
and struck
the tinted window
that had become me
When the shards
had finally fallen
the warmest of light
filled the void
through my no longer
stained self esteem
Now there was
no apologies
no regrets
no doubt
- COMMENTS
jthserraover 20 years agoAn ending is so important... I was completely hooked and flowing here and then your last four lines slapped me.
"Now there was
no apologies
no regrets
no doubt"
perhaps I nitpick and perhaps within the body of the poem instead of the end I would not have been bothered, but
I wanted this to read "Now there were...", with the last line going plural: "...no doubts." or changed to "Now there was / no apology / no regret / no doubt."
You talk of a singular doubt, so I think the poem would be so much stronger for me if it read as:
"Now there was
no apology
no regret
no doubt."
What do you think? Again, I liked the poem, only this little thing at the end bothered me.
jim :)
