No need to explain

A true country girl whose emails smell like mulch or banana pudding.
And she wrote, all by herself in her kitchenette. With her hair up.

Grits for indooor weather control. Air conditioning necessary for cooling
off when we sweat off the bacon grease after breakfast.

A safe panty dissolving formula. Needs work. Don't want to ruin her
favorite jeans, and there needs to be a way to get the solution down inside.

A news station that only tells good news. And plays Miles Davis or
George Jones when the commercials should come on. And when the
music comes on, the lights in the apartment all dim by 50%.

A good clean baseball cap for her to wear that makes her say only yes.

A votive that turns her on everytime.

A clock in the bedroom that appears to change but it is never later.

I want her to know me for one day and believe I don't think that she is an internet slut.