Not Me

Where once a frail innocence would be
Is now a destitute lack of that purity
In the years I've lived, I've strived to see
Someone more than me.

I look in the mirror and the face that I've seen
Doesn't seem to reflect every place that I've been
Every dent in my heart, and every failed dream
It's not me.

The first time I noticed this girl so unclean
Was a year quite close to fifteen
And though much of my life was yet left unseen
I had learned far more than my years of fifteen

I had yearned for a time so much more
Than the moments between.

And He took me, and I left feeling a queen
The love I had taken and lost then was free
And I did love us, that gentle soul known as We
We did love... but not me.

After two years I found some new company.
He was wild, and insane, but quite generously free
And beguiled was I by He
Who wanted a moment with someone

But not me.

So I allowed Him a sweet liberty
Yet after our time was done, we agreed
T'was not so spectacular, those hours of three
And He liked it

But not me.

Another few weeks and I finally met He
Who fascinated, captivated, accentuated me
I saw beauty, and saw release

Within me.

And still the luck that governs me
Showed its ugly head, though remained yet unseen
And the one thing I'd longed for in my years of eighteen
Was acceptance of me, but it had yet to be.

Another failed attempt at that beautiful dream
And the nights began tempting me with the gleam
Of the promise of darkness that daylight would deem
Worthy of all... but not me.

So I live for the night, and in spite of my plight
I reserve the right
To fight with the mightiest of might
Against all of those who would deem me a blight
To a society so concentrated on sight

Because regardless of everything I've encountered in life
I've lived, and I've loved, and I've given everything I might
To a world so undeserving of the person I could be
Were someone to see the gentle beauty of this girl so unclean

Were someone to feel she deserves that longtime dream.

And someday they will, and she'll shine again with that purity
And everyone will love her despite present company

Because everyone deserves that

But not me.