notes on becoming a man

(for the boy that wants a father)

first:
shut the fuck up, second:

shut the fuck up.

recognize the difference
between can and should
(like need and want)
and shut the fuck up.

put your hands
in your pockets,

no.

keep your hands
             up.
keep your head   
             Up.                           
shut the fuck
             UP.

understand you are not           
maliciously an idiot,
               (shut the fuck up)
learn to listen when someone tells you
               (shut the fuck up)
you're loved;                    

love back.

call your mother,       respect
your father,            remember            
                        everyone else.

give anything away,     if you have it;                         
                        know the worth
of your giving,

shut the fuck up.

two things:
done.
not done.

done:
what is necessary,       what
hurts,                   
what provides,           what
heals,                   

what grows.

not done:
want,
want,
want,
want.

want is                  the hungry face
in your belly;           its tongue wagging
              between your legs.

emotion is not gravity,
you don't have to walk.

no, shut the fuck up,

what you want is          a blade
sharp enough              to cut
the pain                  you think
is important,
(shut     the fuck
      up.)

stop.  

your use                  in this world
will only ever be         determined by
your actions.

when i was little, i wanted
an everyday daddy to tell me
what to do when

          every choice was hard,
it took a woman            to teach me,
i am not important         in love,
and also,                  i am.
it hurts every minute.   

being a man
is always                  like this.
shut the fuck up.