tagErotic PoetryOh! The Places You'll Cum!

Oh! The Places You'll Cum!


With apologies to Dr. Seuss...

Tonight is your night.
You're off to Great Passion!
Your snatch is so tight!

You have brains in your head.
You have tits in your blouse
You can please yourself
In any part of your house.
You're on your own. And you know to have fun.
And YOU are the gal who'll decide when to cum.

You'll cross and uncross your legs.
Spread them wide with great care.
And some times you will say,
"I don't choose to have hair."
With your head full of brains
and your blouse full of tits,
You're too horny to fuck
any seeming misfits.

And you may find so many
Who’ll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
You can just go to town.

It's hornier here
When I nibble your ear.

Down there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and titsy as you.

And when things start to happen,
don't worry. Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll start happening too.


You'll be on your way up!
You'll be hitting great hits!
You'll join the high screamers
who finger wet clits.

With your pert behind,
from which comes the need,
You'll tempt the whole gang
and you'll soon take the lead.
Whenever you fuck, you'll be the best of the best.
Whoever you do, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don't
Because, sometimes, you won't.

I'm sorry to say it
but, sadly, it's so
but Fucking
won't always
result in an O.

You can get a quickie
from a prick that's too quick
And your bang will move on.
You'll be left with no Dick.

You'll unwind from the Dick
Still feeling forlorn.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll feel in the Horn.

And when you're in a Horn,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-horning yourself
is not easily done.

You will come to a place
where the twats are not shaved.
Some boys will be horny.
They may not behave.
A place you could pinch
both your nipple and skin!
Do you dare button up?
Do you dare to strip down?
How wet can you be?
How high can you sound?

And IF you strip down,
should you lay down or up...
or up-and-three-quarters?
Like a spoon with a cup?
Or go around back
and take it from behind?
Simple it's not,
I'm afraid you will find,
for a horny thigh-spreader
to make up her mind.

You can get so aroused
that you'll start in to race
with long wiggled butts
at a break-necking pace
and grind on against bodies
in weirdish wild space,
headed, I hope,
toward a most godly place.
The Fucking Place...

...for people just fucking.
Fucking on a stationed train
or a Greyhound bus, or a flying plane
or a cheap motel, or in driving rain
or in mansions fine, or in snow-filled plains
or fucking around in a field of grain
or fucking ‘til they’ve no more brains.
Everyone is just fucking.

Fucking in a fishing boat
or fucking in a Jewish sukkoth
or fucking around without raincoats
or fucking, perhaps, with their Uncle Jake
or a drunken catch, or in Swany Lake
or a string of dates, or a pair of twins
or a pay-per-lay, or with Wicked Grins.
Everyone is just fucking.

That's so for you!

Often you'll orgasm
from that fucking and humping.
You'll sense the bright places
where Boom Bands are jumping.

With pussy lip-licking,
Your banners unfurled!
Ready for anything around the world.
Ready because you're that kind of a girl!

Oh, the places you'll cum!
There are thighs to be spread!
There are tits to be pinched.
There are people to bed.
And the magical things
you can do with that ball
will make you the humping-est
humper of all.
Fame! You'll be famous
as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching
you fuck on TV.

Except when you don't.
Because, sometimes, you won't.

I am pleased that some times
you'll play kinky games, true.
Games that involve
Whips, chains, and handcuffs, too.

Or Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Solo sex is something
you'll have quite a lot.

And when you're alone,
there's a very good chance
you'll use things that make you
cream right in your pants.
There are some, like Hitachis,
between this leg and that,
that can please you so much
you'll forget where you're at.

But on you will cum
though the weather be foul
On you will cum
though your stomach might growl
On you will cum
though the Horny-Korns howl
Onward up many
a fast moving creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your boobies may leak.

On and on you will hump
and I know you'll hump far
and face up to your lovers
whoever they are.

You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange cocks as you go.
So be sure when you spread.
Spread with care and great lust
and remember that Sex
Involves pushing and thrusts.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right tit with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)


be your name Buxom or Fucksby or Lay
or Imogene Allie Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountin' is waiting.
So...get on your lay!

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