On Learning My Ex-Wife's New Lover

I come as a plain honest broker,
Not peddling some true or false test,
To expose as a joke and a joker
This pecker who says "she's" not best.

She has been but a harem’s sweet flower,
A dandelion in a seraglio,
Yet the impact she leaves has such power
I am left but a limpid intaglio.

He's wrong! I was rigid!
She's fructuous, not frigid!
She’s dry? Hell, her crack's like a chasm!
She's a juicy loose goose,
She has horns like a moose,
And she honks when she has an orgasm!

So let me applaud my magnificent bawd!
She took the whole -wry out of tawdry!
Let's thank the Good Lawd for creating her,
And toss out this ass denigrating her,
Let's deplore his two-feet-in-mouth imagery!

There's no such thing as sexual syszygy.