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Click herePour me a shot of bored, barkeep.
I used to remember your name.
Look at that dick over there.
He's nothing like me.
Hey, baby.
What's your name?
I won't remember anyway,
so it don't matter if you lie.
I'm super cool,
can't you tell?
I'm fascinating
and you are as well.
I'm not staring at your cleavage,
unless you'd be disappointed if I weren't.
Did I mention I was cool?
Let me tell you why.
I knew him, and I fucked her.
And I worked there,
until they fired me for being too good.
Sorry to be crude.
But you laughed,
so I'll tell you more.
My life has been a novel;
a tale you wouldn't believe.
It would sound much better
whispered in your ear.
Goodnight, sweetheart.
I'll see you again.
Say, do you know her name?
That girl over there with the jerk boyfriend?
Do you know mine?
Do I?
The essential pick-up manual, stripped of the superfluous, even down to the striking out good-bye. The Mutt's been gone far too long. Welcome back.