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Click hereAn ornery Texan playing plastic
like a New Orleans funeral band
on speed,
frightening at first
until the soulfulness got you
and the swing,
because they never buried you in New Orleans
without swing.
you meant it as a reference to vinyl LPs or that Ornette's style was plastic rather than rigid. Wikipedia, however, informed him that you probably only meant he played a plastic saxophone. Learned something.
Crisp and clean short descriptive poem. Poet Guy might suggest moving the third line to the end of the second. Poet Guy thinks this eliminates the choppy rhythm caused by the very short line caught between two longer ones and also alters the end words to a kind of poem on their own: [P]lastic speed, first you swing, Orleans swing.
Poet Guy is off to listen to Skies of America.
because I got it....I won't go into a lengthy explanation as if my vote was the only one that mattered, though. keep up the good work!
In Nawleans, doesn't the dead one "enjoy" a dirge on the way and jazz after the burial? cool way to go out :)
when i don't have the knowledge to understand where it comes from? no slur on your write, friday, it's my own fault. taking that into account, i did like this even without understanding its background, those last two lines sort of echoing on beyond the end of the poem. i gave it a four since i liked it despite these drawbacks, but not a five as only in understanding fully where it comes from could i know if you did this dude justice. x
it helps to get the references though I'd be careful with the use of "swing" as it has such a specific connotation, one that Ornette saw his music as antithetical to in comparison.