- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Pastoral
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The long sun paints slow patches on the lawn
and slyly sparkles on the smooth, cold pond -
the shadows darken in the shrub beyond;
the sun, that all the drowsy daytime wooed
this very garden changes its bright mood
and like a lover scorned, hurt, pale and torn,
retreats to let the moon take over; borne
on its sheer excellence, the garden turns
into the Eden for which each man yearns.
I step inside, as lightly as a faun -
my hooves would leave no print, could I but take
your hand, and dreamily, yet wide awake
dance past the pool of moonlight to the wood
and find the open places that withstood
shy sadness' shadows, and the silent lake,
and on its shore we'd sit and stare, and make
our joyful offerings - can't I incite
you to be glad of this enchanted night
and stay until it's broken by the dawn?
- COMMENTS
Oldbear63over 10 years ago" can't I incite
you to be glad of this enchanted night
and stay until it's broken by the dawn?"
A wonderful line after a wonderfully descriptive poem - could see it, want to go there.
buttersover 11 years agois yet again exhibited here, making form-writing appear almost effortless and using it as the bones on which to drape something akin to a foil-picture in this case, where light is the main focus, its presence and its withdrawal.
so prettily put:
the sun, that all the drowsy daytime wooed
this very garden changes its bright mood
dance past the pool of moonlight to the wood
and find the open places that withstood
shy sadness' shadows
except i found '"shy sadness' shadows" to feel slightly out of step in comparison, a bit tongue-twistery, and wondered if "shy sorrow's shadows" wouldn't work as well for this? of course it may be your intention to miss-step us with that line, but i found that a distraction from an otherwise measured piece.
tazz317over 11 years agomoving the focal points changes the pictures shown, TK U MLJ LV NV
