pause

I am idle,
for the moment.

For the moment I sit
in my chair
with no pressures
no deadlines
no duties
for hours, and hours.

It should be a relief;
it’s not.

It’s a burden,
to be forced to simply be
and not do,
to relax.
I don’t know how
to do these things.

I seem to be
incapable.

It has been a mere
three days
since my vacation began.
My apartment is clean,
and I have found
a second job.
But there is nothing
hanging over me,
threatening me with
passing minutes,
forcing a sleepless delirium.

I think someone must have
hit the pause button
then left the room,
and forgotten they were watching
the motions flickering on the screen.