Pedestrian dreams: Silver Spring

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KOLKORE
KOLKORE
10 Followers

The river belt
Hugging closer and closer
Each day reticent forest
Floating across
Pedestians wave
Arms hands fists
Facing the river
No car honks
No truck blinks
Thick and heartless it blows on

Stopping,
I am raising two arms,
One frog
One local dog
Another sympathetic bird
All frozen bronze
Readying to jump and multiply
To the right word, divine ordinance
By forgetful divinity or
Some local action committee
I make it to the top safely
Now coming down should be easy
Thank god for small miracles

KOLKORE
KOLKORE
10 Followers
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  • COMMENTS
9 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousabout 16 years ago
A tiny nit-pick to the last commentor

You should know to always capitalize the first letter in every sentence which you didn't. It should have been "You" not "you". Also, your second sentence is not complete so you should have put a comma at the end of the first sentence. Sounds like you need to go back to skool!!!!!

normal jeannormal jeanabout 16 years ago
ohh, one tiny nit-pick

you inadvertently left out the "r" in pedestrians.

heart and hugs

normal jean

normal jeannormal jeanabout 16 years ago
lovely work

The more I read of you, the better you get. I enjoyed this poem, from the structure to your choice of words.

keep up the good work :)

NJ

twelveoonetwelveooneover 16 years ago
*

second stanza rocks, sweet!

foehn2foehn2over 16 years ago
i read...

i read "divine ordnance" instead of ordinance. interesting accident, on my part, but a lovely poem, on yours. thanks.

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