Personal Choices

Young, rich, and good looking, just ain't my fate.
Fat, broke, and brilliant, ain't nearly as great.
I'm funny though, can't forget that.
Lot's of things are, like a retard with a bat.
I'll make you laugh, so hard that you'll cry.
And I'll out think you, and you'll wonder why.
That's all I got, them be my skillz,
I sell trailers, cuz my skills pay no bills.
I sell pretty good, I do okay.
Then I hunt pussy, in the most awkward way.
Sometimes it works, and I get laid.
Soon I don't like her, and wish she was paid.
I really like punani, and I'm nice enuff.
What gets on my nerves, is what surrounds the muff.
Bitching and nagging, whining 'bout dumb shit,
Shut the fuck up! I was raised not to hit!
I just want to swing, to violate my code!
Why the fuck, can't she just, leave me alone.
As soon as I cum, I want her gone.
Before she starts singing her bullshit song.
She'd leave if I paid her, her "job" would be done.
Here's the cash, see you later, now fuckin' get out, Hun.
Whores are the answer, this I believe.
I don't pay them to come, I pay them to leave.
Girls who are friends, are alright with me.
It's the ones I have fucked, that I can't seem to see.
Commitment's for suckers, and sad motherfuckers.
I'd hate to be them, so I pay for cocksuckers.
I see you lookin', I see your frown,
you're talkin' trash, puttin' me down.
You're better than me, superior, and judgmental
disgusted and embarrassed by my romantic rental.
Well I don't care, I've figured it out!
Hookers beat down lookers, so turn up your snout.
I'm not paying attention, to the moral majority,
I'm shellin' out, for a whore with seniority.
She does me better, and then she leaves,
I don't know her name, or her pet peeves.
I told my priest, thought I'd hear thunder,
he asked for her number, No! Not out loud, just slide it under!
I laughed and I cried, at our dilemma,
then came to grips, with our ruling systemma.
One group says NO, another says why?
I grin and bear it, as another freedom goes bye.
Strippers, lap dancers, and body rub whores,
Politicians, priests, cops, and laborers.
We all take a bite, of the forbidden cookie,
the yummiest one, is the paid for nookie.
I got my whores, you got your wife,
wait, what's the difference? Oh yeah, a contract FOR LIFE!
I don't look down on the choices you've made,
it's just not for me, to pay so much to get laid.
The same woman every day, and she takes my name,
she's always unhappy, and I get the blame.
I shudder to think of it, I avoided that bullet,
better to die alone, with just enough strength to pull it.
My willy I mean, my demanding dictator,
One eyed spitty, the commitment hater.
I'm in debt to my cock, my bossy little wiggler.
I'll pay as I go, cuz I'm Jelly the Biggler.
So if you know of a hunny, who sells it for money,
I'll pay the toll, I'm Jelly the Biggler,
... and that's how I roll.