Picture

There is a picture that hangs on your wall. Do you notice it at all? Do you take pride in it, take it off that wall and hug it? It sits on your wall, lonesome and heavy. When your friends come calling, you say “Oh, yes. That is my picture. I love it, it is so beautiful.” Then you walk away.

Am I that picture? Is that why your love stops and starts on a dime? Or do you love me all the time? I cannot stay if you keep walking away, I cannot stick around for nothing. Nothing is all you can give, but on nothing nobody can live.

Why does your attention extend so far, but not far enough to get to me? Am I only a picture, stuck behind glass and mounted? I watched you walk by, I counted and counted. The number of times you could have said everything, but said nothing. All you do is walk by, maybe sometimes a glance, but no touch or caress, no love for me.

Take me off my wall, please, take me away from it all. All I want is your love, to never be unsure that I am watched and cared for. I could be stolen away, wrapped up and taken down from my prison perch. Would you miss me? Would I be replaced by another painting, one who is content to be what she is?

I hate your neglect. You keep your eyes focused on your life, your friends, everything but me. You say you love me, but I have learned to know much better. But nothing changes, letter after letter. You think you are so busy, but also so in love. You cannot be in love if your heart is not in it.

Am I just for show? Have I been hung around the house to be seen from your window? Is there no end to your neglect? Let others watch me as you make your life correct? For some other purpose, then, to be seen as your girlfriend? A most clever facade, but nevertheless so hurtful.

What of the people to come, will you love them too? Or will they be tiny paintings, and will you hang us all in a row, for everyone to gaze at, everyone but you? Will you hug them? Will you take them off their walls at Christmas time and place them on Santa's lap? Or will they be stuck cowering with me, afraid of all the faces they will see? Afraid of the lack of one particular face they will not see, but want to see all the time.

I long for your eyes to be placed on mine and take you by surprise. For every time your eyes wander, my heart begins to rise. Only to fall, into nothing evermore, I surmise. Is there nothing you can do? Just keep me waiting for you? I cannot take that road. There is no way to be free. You put me in a prison by neglecting me. I am only your painting, your work of art. Is there nothing you can do for me?

I will leave. Jump from my nails and glue and run away. Should you notice that I am gone, it will be too late. I will be hundreds of miles away. From the neglect, from the ache. On that final stretch of road, when I turn on exit 76, my heart will have forgotten you.

But I cannot live without you. You dust me off when I am dirty, you look through my glass and see my colours. My colours are to attract you, to make you love me. Please take me off my wall. Take me out of my frame and embrace me, tell me to my face that you love me. And mean it, with your entirety, mean it. Don't pass by my forlorn glass and only clean it. Make me love you again, long for your tender kiss and sweet touch. I have lost the longing in hanging my head and crying.

The shoulders on whom I have cried have no end to the stories of pride. They tell me to go away, never look back and start my own day. I don't want my own day. I want you to make your day my day, and mine yours. The sun rises and sets with your attention, but the days have been dark from no mention of the sun ever rising again.

You think your life is difficult? Try being strung along on the roller coasters, without a safety belt and without notice of their end. I thought you were my lover, I thought you were my friend. But you are no friend of mine. Not when you pay no attention, put in no effort. You have no chance of being my friend if it continues, no hope of redemption. I love you, but I can stop. I can stop, just like you stopped trying.