Play Someone

Consider this a warning and apology,
for creating the following:

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.
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Morning horn,
Tired and worn.
Jerking the Gherkin,
Stopping the born.

Armed and ready,
Pistol, steady.
A soldier's joy,
Finding some heady.

Local scene
A pretty scene.
Stretch the leather,
This chick is mean.

Prospect two,
Eyes of blue.
Junk in the trunk,
Looks mighty fine too.

Wanna wet me whistle?
Tour of my castle?
Naval engagement?
Court’s dismissal?

A slap in the face.
With such elegant grace.
Old Hornington,
Still wanting to race.

Here comes a pretty,
With them itty bitty titties.
Looking for a little willy,
For her Silly ‘lil kitty.

Hot Damn what a find,
Bumpin’ uglies on her mind.
I’m a trapping champion,
Aint no beaver I can’t find.

Armed for Pete’s sake,
With me ‘ol Irish toothache.
She be hot in the biscuit,
I be wanting to bake.

Time to grease the wheel,
Give her a stab.
My handy bayonet,
Just like driving a cab.

Do a four legged frolic,
Have a hot roll with cream.
Hell, Drive in the dark,
If you know what I mean.

Sausage for supper,
But we hide the salami.
If I pickle her first,
she won’t tell my mommy.

play the organ,
some tiddlywinks.
in-and-out,
I’ll need a shrink.

Nibble a nipple,
Tweak a twat.
Parallel park,
Don’t cork the cock.

Shudder and shake,
Scream someone’s name.
I aint listening,
So it all sounds the same.

Say goodbye to your woody,
Say goodbye to the poon.
I aint cleaning it,
You get a spoon.

Sure gnaw on the pecker,
Have a blanket jig.
Just give me the digits,
So we can Adam and eve it.

You like that do you?
What am I a clown?
Am I hear to amuse you?
Hey! Put that lamp down!

Ouch! Calm Down!
Watch where you swing that.
Fine! me and my joy stick,
We aint gonna come back.

Oh sure! You’ll miss me,
This Banana and I.
Next time you’re randy,
I won’t heed your cry.

That’s right! I’m serious!
No more tailpipe for you.
Me and my Wang Bone.
Consider you through.

So next time you’re hungry,
For some ‘South of the border,’
Just … Pardon?...What’s that?
What the hell’s a restraining order?

FIN