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Click hereI tried to talk to God today,
I know it's been a while.
But things have changed
Since I last tried...
And I know it's not the same.
"All our lines are busy right now, we're having quite a time.
So to help it all go smoother, please choose one of these lines:
"If you need our help right now, pray 1 to be heard.
Or if you want to ease your soul, pray 2 – and say the words."
"Pray 3 if all you need is to tell us how you've been,
And 4 if you need some help to make your life more clean."
"Pray 5 if you must confess a mighty awful sin;
Or 6 to do the same for one of your kin."
"Pray 7 if you wish to complain about the service we are giving.
And 8 if you think it's great and you're happy you are living."
"At any time press hash (pound or gate) to hear this list again;
Or just hang on until we're done and an angel can sing your refrain."
"Oh, and all prayers will be recorded for training purposes."