- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Poetic World
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Click hereWinters are always cold,
Springs hopelessly hopeful.
Summers evanescent and
Autumns funereal.
I am always unhappy, unfulfilled,
You are indifferent, cold (cf. Winter),
She is unobtainable,
They are judgemental and despised.
Nature is hymned or threatening,
machines make misery,
work is death and destruction,
business is best forgotten.
The Sun burns and unveils,
the Moon is many-faced, mellifluous,
the stars are a backdrop to dreams,
the Universe a vague, unspecified presence.
And the Earth is our home, our
gift, our despoliation and
sublimely indifferent to
our clichés.
- COMMENTS
WillowedCabinalmost 13 years agothe last four lines. Also,
"The Sun burns and unveils,
the Moon is many-faced, mellifluous,"
great, I really like that... then
"the stars are a backdrop to dreams,
the Universe a vague, unspecified presence."
I think that's hackneyed.
I'm also not sure why the first four lines are there... but again, this is just my opinion.
twelveoonealmost 13 years agoL10? "machines make misery" you hit a stride with alliteration. L1-L4 seem pointless and trite to me, somewhere between L4 and L10 is where it looks like it should start. A5
