Porn Queen Toni Tamale

Tony Tamale

They called her Toni Tamale
When she was a child
Short and plump
With a bump for a rump
But as she moved on to fourteen
The fat fell off, the tamale leaned
She grew two breasts, large and meaty
Like a stuffed burrito, you can't eat neatly
By eighteen years she was prom queen
Out of Texas in Abilene
She won a contest to Holly
A trip that is usually folly
She tried out for movie parts
Horror flicks, saucy maid starts
Worked as an extra time and again
Didn't earn much, made some friends
One said, "Will you do porno
It's a thousand a day and pick up in auto?"
Her cash balance was very low
She was thinking time to go
"What the hell, I'll show my tits
If I must, I'll flash my clit
Out to San Fernando she'd go
On a block where you wouldn't know
A movie or video was being made
Lest you peeked in a window without a shade
Toni starred in a number of flicks
She became popular and it lasted a bit
The films were all lost in time
Had no plot, had no rhyme
Just a girl with a tamale ass
Doing things that wouldn't pass
Around bible thumpers or fancy folks
Blowjobs and three way pokes
There is one scene you might recall
If you ever watched porn at all
There was a guy dressed in a gorilla suit
With an enormous cock that could shoot
Cum like a vacuum run in reverse
This guy would never rehearse
For fear he might loose his load
The directors wanted him to explode
There was a guy, no two, dressed as a mule
With a mule sized tool
Those cartoon characters were fucking Toni
All that was missing was a Shetland pony
When all of a sudden a flying guy, a Superman
Fell from above where he had hung from a fan
Chased the animals out the door
Then ran back for a little more
And comforted the heroine Toni
Who in gratitude sucked his baloney
That turned out to be a double headed dildoe
Stuck inside our lesbian flying hero
Who dropped her drawers, so Toni in glory
Could go down on her to finish the story
Is that a scene you remember or know?
I don't know if it was hot or just a goofy porno
After three years the show moved on
Toni's time had come and gone
She had saved a bit but not enough
A camera guy a little rough
Lent her an extra ten thou
And that is how
She got a taco stand down on the corner
Where Vine street ought' a
Stop but keeps on rolling
Past some clubs and parking lots
The bathhouse and some restaurants
So you ask where can you get a meal
Where the meat is tender
The price's a good deal?
I'd say go down to Toni Tamale
Tell her you'd like a big one
She'll smile, grin and say
"I don't want you to run away,
Instead have a seat, something to eat
We've got a burrito as big as a horse cock, All
Tamales are uncut and huge as bull's balls
Hot jalapeno sausage, long twelve inches
Guaranteed to burn your britches
Pictures are on the wall behind ya
The Tacos look like big vaginas"

Yeah, Toni's talk is a bit flagrant
It serves to scare away the vagrants
Who come around late at night
Grab a bite, then start to fight
But I'd suggest you get the tamale
The one with beef or peppers and cheese
Or the one with pork simmered to degrees
Way above Fahrenheit, a true delight
But don't mention you saw Toni in those flicks
She won't own up to it, she's grown kind'a fat
Don't you know life turns out like that?
Beauty is here today, then it's gone away
Tits and ass like all things pass
So just be cool, she won't suffer a fool
Cause Toni might refuse to serve
If she thinks your sass'en or a perv
Don't make no jokes about animal suits
Or mules or gorillas or superman shoots
Or lesbo bitches with double dildoes
Just act as if you don't know
There is a golden rule here in the hood
That most folks call Sweet Hollywood
The past is dead, the future's ahead
The present is now, enuff said