Post Gastric Bypass Love

Dance with me my mongoloid bride
Between these three walls of our trailer
For tonight we celebrate your hospital liberation
And freedom to wipe your own arse without a mop

We airlifted you to freedom
Like a cow in a swimming pool
Gracefully you swung like a sweaty Eros
Blubber insulating you from the pylon

That fried black pudding that took away your freedom
That 'one more mayonnaise bucket' that took away your dignity
That fireman that cut away your bedroom wall
They will never take away your love, nor your abdominal catheter

You were always a glutton for pleasure
No matter what vapors were given off
Sure, customers were eating behind the curtain
But who cares who craps in buckets these days

Waddle closer sweet buffet queen
Pull down your compression stockings
For legs and eggs are on the menu tonight
Your varicose thighs spell out our destiny

The tarp once used
To haul your arse to the clinic
We now roll in together
Capturing rogue fluids

Your body rippling naked
Beneath the twinkling lights of the pinball machine
The creases where mushrooms once grew
Now guide my hands to apply cream to your sores

May this rent-free vehicle serve as a future home
To our beautiful hybrid offspring
Mississippi, John and Skip
All named from where they where conceived

Who will eat this flaccid Ivan?
Flat like the tires of our home
Now springs proud like a diving board
As you dangle suspended in the harness of rubber

Sure, we;ll have onlookers for the next five minutes
But the dogging community were always welcome
Rubberneckers, whale watchers, truckers and hoggers
All have front row seats to this Colosseum of passion

For now our love can blossom
Thanks to a simple routine bowel operation
Baby, I'm addicted to your crack
So hit me with fiber mustache beeeeyatch