- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Prayers in Pantomine
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Worked all day in the field still gotta do dishes. I see myself upside down and gutted in your gaze. I smell the marsh sick with fish and frogs. Mother nature wrapped her sinewy fingers around my neck forced open my teeth our tongues tangoed. I was born in the dead of winter and carry it with me. I keep calling your name. The light of fire compliments everything. I summon my ancestors place me upon the path again as I have ventured far into away. I'm on enemy territory. You better come bearing gifts. Come ready.
- COMMENTS
normal jeanover 10 years agoIn line 5 I think "complements" would be a better choice than "compliments". I like the poem, I love poems about frogs and swamps, but I think you could tighten this one up into stanzas and some strategic positioning could incur some great internal rhyme and a smoother meter. Overall, I enjoyed the poem. I see a talent developing her skills. Best of luck to you and I look forward to reading more of your work.
GuiltyPleasureover 10 years ago.....a few readings of your poetry to warm to it. It is unconventional (by Lit's standards) but original and absorbing. In the 7th sentence there seems to be a missing "to" after "ancestors" but that's small taters. Five.
