Prayers in Pantomine

Poem Info
97 words
4.29
1.7k
0
Share this Poem

Font Size

Default Font Size

Font Spacing

Default Font Spacing

Font Face

Default Font Face

Reading Theme

Default Theme (White)
You need to Log In or Sign Up to have your customization saved in your Literotica profile.
PUBLIC BETA

Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.

You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.

Click here
susansnow
susansnow
42 Followers

Worked all day in the field still gotta do dishes. I see myself upside down and gutted in your gaze. I smell the marsh sick with fish and frogs. Mother nature wrapped her sinewy fingers around my neck forced open my teeth our tongues tangoed. I was born in the dead of winter and carry it with me. I keep calling your name. The light of fire compliments everything. I summon my ancestors place me upon the path again as I have ventured far into away. I'm on enemy territory. You better come bearing gifts. Come ready.

susansnow
susansnow
42 Followers
Please rate this poem
The author would appreciate your feedback.
  • COMMENTS
Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous
5 Comments
normal jeannormal jeanover 10 years ago
nice :)

In line 5 I think "complements" would be a better choice than "compliments". I like the poem, I love poems about frogs and swamps, but I think you could tighten this one up into stanzas and some strategic positioning could incur some great internal rhyme and a smoother meter. Overall, I enjoyed the poem. I see a talent developing her skills. Best of luck to you and I look forward to reading more of your work.

susansnowsusansnowover 10 years agoAuthor
Thanks Guys!

Thank you for your kind comments.

GuiltyPleasureGuiltyPleasureover 10 years ago
It's taken me.....

.....a few readings of your poetry to warm to it. It is unconventional (by Lit's standards) but original and absorbing. In the 7th sentence there seems to be a missing "to" after "ancestors" but that's small taters. Five.

AngelineAngelineover 10 years ago
Another 5

Great title and your poems never disappoint.