- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Predawn
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Lyrical musings
A halberd buried in your mind
Some sharp, some smooth
Some as slick as mossy rocks
In the white water
Some too sweet like tea
Iced under the magnolia
Or bitter and angry vents
Like nails driven deep
Some dreamy surreal
Caught between sanity & insanity
Between nightmare and daydream
Some wet as a kiss
Or dry as desert sand
Some caught in midair
Others can't be removed
Lying buried dormant in brain
Some drip from the faucet
Others pour from the sky
Some trail off
into
nothingness
- COMMENTS
ishtatover 9 years agoGood but could perhaps be improved a little .For examples. Too many 'somes' perhaps - you could say 'some sharp some smooth others slick as (note only one as). You actually do drop the (some some) for (some others) later in the piece.
I wondered if you thought of leaving out the last line out altogether just letting the poem trail off into...
Fun to read and easy to play with, adding a couple of lines to suit ( this readers) fancy.
5
