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Click hereSeeking love,
Creation of hell,
Products of their environment.
Vacant coitus, physical needs,
Empty selves, crying dreams,
Products of their environment.
Flash of a fist,
Anger released,
Product of his environment.
Surfacing bruises,
Heart that won’t leave,
Product of her environment.
Twisting triggers, denying truth,
Fucking others, blame each other,
Products of their environment.
Dead hearts, hopeless souls,
Empty shells, two depart.
Products of their environment.
Reflection breeds,
Forgiveness for both.
Product of my environment.
dlt © Jan. 2 2005
this was an interesting read-- "product of his environment" in general reads to me in a cynical tone. It is not a pretty line, but it is powerful. I agree with Sack that it might be over-repeated, losing its strength through dilution.
"vacant coitus" is a cool phrase. Perhaps too much repetition of "products of his,her,their,my,environment", which is not a particularly poetic phrase anyway.