public wank (a Tavvy Tale)

*Tavvy is slang for tavern
t hese tales are exerts from my tenure as a bouncer



We are at the Tavvy again

Friday night, normal and plain

Music loud, club is pumping

On my leg a woman is thumping

She tugged on my leg and shouted to me,

"There's a bitch on the dance floor you need to see"

Stepping down from the viewing block

Slipped a little, had to grab her frock

She grabbed my arm to steady me

The slippery floors dangerous as can be,

I asked the lady "what the hell is the matter?"

Thinking some face I'd have to splatter.

Her response took me by surprise,

A woman was wanking men on the dance floor,

surely she lies?

To my utter amazement and shock

In the middle of the crowded flock

Took me a moment, to take stock

A skinny woman had a handful of cock

There wasn't a manual to prepare for this

She was living in vouyeristic bliss

A crowd of men lined up for a turn

She didn't mind, not a one she would spurn

I forced my way into the crowded group

Before it got ugly and went to poop

Didn't think to call another

Wish I had, to get their cover.

A lady, whose date was part of the group

had un-notched his belt from its loop



she started screaming "you stupid slut"

I had to get her out, before she got cut

I pushed and managed to barge my way in

back handed a guy under the chin

His staggering back, cleared the way

I wasn't interested in what she would say

this dick groping woman was really drunk

alcohol smell bad, she was like a skunk

A lot of women were screaming for blood,

this lady had touched their manly stud.

I grabbed the slapper by her long hair

Dragged her to the door, with a glare

we were close to the door, about to get free

When we slipped in a puddle, she fell on me

The other lady who was shouting and screaming

Hit the cock fondling woman, she started bleeding

I managed to get to my feet

Had to pick her up before she got beat

Got her out front and laid her down

That's when I noticed her bleeding crown

The crazy woman had hit her with a stiletto

A man behind me screamed in falsetto

The shoe was lodged, stuck tight in her head

She was barely breathing I thought she was dead

Called an ambulance as fast as we could

Other guards stood round like a fence of wood

I held a compression bandage to her head

I checked her pulse in case her life had fled

The paramedics got there timely and quick

That should teach her for playing with dick



They took her away that fateful night

But take a moment to reflect on her plight

Let this be a lesson to all of you

So you don't get nailed with a high heel shoe



Authors note
*Slapper is Australian slang for a sexually promiscuous woman