Purple Eternity

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71 words
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Purple Eternity
~
Dust motes dance a chorus
Swirl in eddies on the light
Sharpened senses give chase
In the thick atmosphere

Fingers press through spider webs
Sticky silk allows admittance
Whispers of warm promise
Pause to sink in

Memories gently summon
Time twirls her skirts aside
Places, experiences and beyond
Beckon hearts desire

Behind stained glass awareness
Where longing breathes still
Deep purple eternity
A smile…you are there.


7/04

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6 Comments
tazz317tazz317over 12 years ago
VIEWING THE PAST

looking thru a dusty window. TK U MLJ LV NV

WickedEveWickedEveover 19 years ago
really good

just get rid of heart's desire--cliche, cliche, cliche. The rest of the poem is fresh and purple.

perksperksover 19 years ago
perkspective

I'm really getting into this poem, it's moving along, I see the subtle structure and the imagery. It's clear and smooth, and then I get to "heart's desire" and I want to scream. WHYYYY WHYYYYYYY did you choose this most overused phrase? It totally cheapens your poem. I could have forgiven it, if you didn't cop out in your last line with "a smile... you are there". You use so much imagery within the entirety of the poem, and then you choose the reality of saying someone is "there" instead of letting us feel it. Pairing that last line with the "heart's desire" totally frustrates me right at the end of your poem. It's like a kick right in the gut. Your poem is better than those two lines, and yet, it's all I can think about. They're your neon signs blinking at me in the middle of a gloriously enchanted escapade.

EumenidesEumenidesover 19 years ago
I love imagery

And you do it so well. The personification of Time, while being vaguely reminiscent of something I can't quite put my finger on grabbed me and held me through to the end. I would work on the last line of the last two stanzas. They interrupt my love for this poem.

Syndra LynnSyndra Lynnover 19 years ago
every word

is well chosen, every phrase a delight.

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