Putting In Work

The other day while I was moving in to my new home.

I met this girl who stays upstairs from me, she lives alone.

I noticed that she watched me as I unloaded my truck.

As I finished she approached me and I thought, “Oh boy what luck.”

She introduced herself to me with a voice so sweet and soft.

Said she felt a little awkward, asking me up to her loft.

She said I had a certain quality that she would need.

And that she’d make it worth my while if I did this dirty deed.

Well me being the man I am said, “Yes” without any haste.

She thanked me with a lovely smile, and said my time she wouldn’t waste.

I asked her when she wanted me, and she said, “How bout tonite?”

I checked my watch, it was only 9 and I was game, so I said, “Alright.”

She said she hoped her boldness wouldn’t make me turn and run.

And she promised that she’d do her best to have me home before one.

I told her don’t worry my time was hers, and besides it sounds like fun.

I just hope I’m not a disappointment and I’m able to get the job done.

She led the way and I followed close, watching her hips as they swayed with her stride.

She giggled and pinched me on the cheek, opened the door and let me inside.

She asked if I would like a drink, before we got busy.

So I sat down on her lovely couch and said, “Sure that’s fine with me.”

We sat, drank, talked a bit and then I asked, “How should we start?”

When she said, “Just let me get out these clothes.” I just about swallowed my heart.

She came back wearing nothing but a long tee shirt that hung just below her knees.

My eyes traced her body from her toes to her face, then she said, “Let’s start with these.”

Man oh man, when I woke up this morning, I had no idea my night would end like this.

This woman kept me going like the energizer bunny till she stopped to go take a piss.

I just sat and wondered, what in the world did I get myself into.

Then she came back in the room with a super sad face and said, “Oh no don’t tell me that you’re through.”

So I took a deep breath and said, “Let’s get to it, I’m not out of gas yet.”

Then she handed me a towel she brought back from the bathroom, that I could use to wipe up my sweat.

I swear this woman must be out of her mind, working me to death.

Shouting orders at me, up then down, left then right, till I could barely catch my breath.

Over here then over there, back and forth, front then back, I swear she’s driving me insane.

Putting me through changes, making me feel sorry that I came.

I told her my arms were getting tired, my back hurt, and my legs were getting weak.

I reminded her she promised I’d be home before one, and it was already a quarter till three.

She said, “Okay just one more,” then we’d be all done.

And then she started shouting orders like shooting bullets from a gun.

Back and forth, left then right, “Hold it right there!” Then she turned around.

She started huffing and puffing, and said, “Wait a minute,” then she let out a whining sound.

About this time I had had enough, my whole body began to hurt.

“I know I agreed to do this with you, but I didn’t know it would be this much work.”

“I’ve been busting my butt to please you, but you’re just never satisfied.”

“I’ve got a headache the size of a basketball, and a charlie-horse in both thighs.”

“I guess you can say this is what I get for playing big shot macho man.”

“But I’ve had about enough of handling this stuff, and I’ve done about all I can.”

She put her hands on her hips, and I said, “Hold it right there, cause you’re the one who couldn’t make up her mind.”

“Getting mad at me because you’re not finished. Well you can do it by yourself next time.”

“We did the couch, the desk, and your reclining chair, then you had me do it over again.”

“As if the futon and the dresser wasn’t enough, I even helped you move both of your night stands.”

I said, “I’m tired, I’m going home, I need to rest my aching back.”

“You had me move your t.v. three different times, so now it’s staying put just like that.”

“Please don’t get me wrong your home is tight, and miss lady you’re very pretty.”

“But I’m not touching another piece of furniture tonite, and if you don’t like it, oh well, tuff titty.”