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Click hereIt's quiet on the tip on her tongue,
a whisper about a whisper nests
in split ends, resting a thousand lips
on her back. Night beyond calamity,
ember black glow holds close, wraps
it's absence around her almost still
shoulders, hours kissing her temple.
If I so much as blink its gone.
So I remain the night, mirror every
embrace, breathe to her breath,
beat to her heart, push time out,
project a bubble of now from here
to the edge of perception.
But the moon moves fast tonight,
pushing it's split square across
the floor, pushing clouds to hunker
on the blind horizon and frost web
to seep in from the edge of windows.
Soon magpies will stir, skip over
icy crust, flock for slim pickings
under pines, huddle lee side when
dawn brings arctic breath anew.
With it the clamor, whips for sore
muscles, bustle of machines, words
on words on words. Micro cuts on
her tender membrane of control,
in a chaos where I can not soothe
or hold. No quiet on the tip
of her tongue, and a shout lodged
deep in each too full lung.
Come dusk again, doors shut tight,
curtains mask the stare of stars.
She murmurs me close, calls me
her night. Will it be enough stillness
to mend the bruise of day this time?
You started wonderful well:
It's quiet on the tip on her tongue,
a whisper about a whisper nests
in split ends, resting a thousand lips
on her back
Beautiful.
I really enjoyed this, Liar. Evocative, excellent diction. --PandoraGlitters
Nice compact writing. Something about the micro cut bit bothered me because I have the feeling there is another name for tiny cuts in membranes but its escaping me and you know poets, well we need to use the exact name of things. Getting a recommend.
Well I missed every typo as I was too enthralled with the story for imperfections to intrude and the ending is so bittersweet it's wonderful
O do I love the way you write (though that may be a little self-congratulatory because I think our style is similar in free verse poems). Yeah there's a few typos and I don't think this poem is as good as it could be yet....and still there is a warmth and musicality, a feeling of cherishing that radiates from it and makes me feel really good reading it. "split-ends" sounds a little clunky to me but otoh it does convey that you love all of this person, even the (on the surface) less attractive parts. Overall it's songlike and that, to me, is of very high value in a poem.