- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Realizations of an Unbroken Girl
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Click hereI can't feel the pain that used to pulse
Under my skin inside my thoughts
Forcing me away from here
To that dark place where blades were near
There is no echo it's all just gone
The screaming that droned on and on
Inside me where the battle raged
The fighting over a white flag waves
That lonely feeling just a ghost
Killed by the two I need the most
- COMMENTS
greenmountaineeralmost 7 years agoA good poem deserves that IMO. I've already commented on how smart line 8 is and how its seguays nicely to the last lines. What I like about them is they made me think about who the "two" are. Is it your husband and child or perhaps your lover and you? The latter seems plausible given what proceeds it in the poem. Either way, it engaged me, ie, made me stop and think, which is what a good poem does.
BTW, these arthritic fingers accidently hit the "3" button for a rating. The poem is much better than that.
greenmountaineeralmost 7 years agoNicely done, Aelfgirl. That turn of a phrase in line 8 really was thought provoking before seguing nicely to the last two lines. If indeed the poem is autobiographical, I'm happy for you. Even if not, it's nice when a poem elicits that response from a reader.
