Regrets

Two voices argue in my head
Repeat the same refrain
One says 'stay', the other 'go'
One says 'yes', the other 'no'
One is smug and one less so
But whispers once again

'Is this the way your life should be?
To never love or fall?
Is safe and cold
What you were told
Would stop the hurt when you grow old
And save you from it all?

From all the pain and hurt and tears
That feeling can allow
10 years you've gone
Without a home
To feed your need to be alone
How do you like it now?'

Not much I thought and that was true
The freedom I once sought
Was now a curse
And each day worse
A cage it seemed, the bubble burst
And I realised I was caught

With youthful thought and good intent
I'd fashioned out a road
Of loneliness
And emptiness
My life was just a path to death
If none would share the load

Yet still I feared the closeness
The pain of love and loss
So once again
I ran and ran
And left behind another man
A rolling stone, no moss