Relinquishing I

I want to lose myself.
I want to close my eyes and see with my fingertips.
I want to feel the hairs on skin rise in anticipation.
I want to slip into secret places, kiss the forbidden treasures.
To sleep in the naked embrace of safety.

I exist only to bring others comfort;
Understanding, empathy, sympathy and love.
If you continually give of yourself then eventually you’re an empty shell.

Floating in a peaceful void, silent and alone.
Moving like an astral body.
Powerless in my journey.
Carried by currents beyond my control.
Scarred with debris of unavoidable collisions.
Cold, desolate and uninhabited - a giant in solitude.

There are two times I truly relinquish who I am, who I pretend to be.
On rare occasions I can just feel myself sliding free, My who seeps slowly from my being.
Or that rarest of occasions, still, at that moment of climax, the rush of release, I exist in no form other than that sensation.
Immediately followed by the most naked moment of my soul.