- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Remembering the light
Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click hereThe thin bright line
that connects us,
that pulses,
that beats with the
blood of air and water
and fire
in the darkness
in the silence
in the hum
of the energy
coming off you
in heated waves
and I remember
my own vibration
I feel the echo of my
shadow self
long discarded
in fits of fear and confusion.
it is a daily battle
between the rational mind
and the waking heart,
between the known-safe
and the unknown light,
untapped, untested
but today
there is no fear
today there is only
east and west, there is
only north and south
and a smoldering trust
and when I center
when I stop and listen
I can feel you wherever
you are. I can feel
your bright outline
on my warming finger tips
and when I feel you then,
I begin to feel my heart
again, I begin to feel
the sleeping spirit again
and I forget to worry about
what can be known
I forget to weigh the
science of intuition
I forget to measure the
physics of coincidence
again and again. and I begin
to hear old conversations
and when I surrender,
I can float on that
energy that resonates
through all, that
harmonizes, between
you and me
and judgment and doubt
slips silky off my skin,
leaving bare sensation
and I hold you in the ether
close and far,
tight and forever
- COMMENTS
Eumenidesalmost 20 years agoThere were weak points...two stanzas in particular, but overall this had moments of grandeur that pulled me in. Let's get those two pesky stanzas outta the way so that I can continue praising this poem.
but today
there is no fear
today there is only
east and west, there is
only north and south
and a smoldering trust
and when I center
when I stop and listen
I can feel you wherever
you are. I can feel
your bright outline
on my warming finger tips
These two stanzas don't have the punch of the rest. Actually the first two stanzas don't have much punch either, but it feels like you're slowly getting into the thick in those two. These interrupt the flow of cleverness that the rest of the poem has.
My favorite part, and the part I'll probably save to my HD is:
I forget to weigh the
science of intuition
I forget to measure the
physics of coincidence
That is brilliance. Write more and flesh out some of the roughness you're encountering.
perksalmost 20 years agoI don't hate, I don't love it. I'm trying to figure out why. I want it to do something other than sit there. There's no "WOW" in your poem. Nothing that gets so incredibly deep I'm in awe at your insight but nothing so glaringly frustrating that I hate it either. It's just there, and for me, that's almost the worst kind of poem. However, I kept reading, which means something. You have my attention. I to will read you again, just to see if you do something spectacular, because I think you have the ability, I think maybe you just haven't stepped outside your "known" in your writing yet. I know you'll understand that, because of the poem I just read. Take a chance, get ballsy.
tarablackwood22almost 20 years ago....whose name is new to me, but one who has something to offer here, and also shows the promise of more to come. Keep posting, and I'll keep reading!
