Reservations

Reservations.

Did you think you were
The only one?
That was swept up.
Did you think you were
The only one searching?
For that something to fill
A hole inside
Your joy and excitement
Was a wonder to behold
But there was no pressure
No coercion
No questions asked
No answers expected
It was just fun to talk
And pretend
To be friends and feel
Something again
I made no demands
Asked for nothing
But a shared connection
We both are crazy
You stayed up just to talk
To me
But for once did you not
Realize I just stayed up
For you
I have friends and family
People to laugh and share
My world with
But I was there with you
Not because it was weird
Not because I was crazy
I was there for a friend
One I would never get to
Hug and be with in the real
World.
It was something I could
Accept and enjoy
It was safe and safer
But now I miss it
But now its gone
That connection
That person that I enjoyed
You are reserved
Safe and secure
Did you think that there
Was only risk to you?
That you were the only one?
Everyone takes risks
Mine was opening up again
To show someone
That life and care
Was universal
That the late nights
Were just a way to
Share a mark in time
To make you laugh
To make you smile
To maybe one day
Give you hope
And in doing so
Give me all the same
That maybe one day
We could be good friends
That laughed at how they
Met and learned each other
But reality set in
Who's reality is it?
Who said this is what is real
And what isn't
Nothing is ever safe
Any action even inaction
Brings About some sort of risk
Unfortunately for me
I don't have the switch
To turn everything off
To pretend that
Nothing matters
Because for me
Everything does
All things are the small
Pieces that form the larger
Whole.
What are we are left with
Is not a friendship
Not an acquaintance
Just a room full of ifs
Buts and maybes
And reservations of each
Other.