- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Resonance
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I never imagined the duration
of this silent gong
that vibrates through my viscera
in a deep hum
every time I see your name
it spreads warm like rising oven air
cool like the first drink of water
it soaks through the wick of me still
I vibrate like a tuning fork
struck with your ghostly presence
and wonder
will this force fade
spread and dissipated
joining in the hummmm
of this world
and the next
or will it die suddenly
like you
I hope it meets with resonance
setting another fork in motion
and another and another
it must
it must
and this is why
I must
I must
I must write
to move you outward
searching
for what cannot die
- COMMENTS
Bill Dadaover 18 years agoso strong they permeate your DNA. Which is what your poem did to me.
Tzaraover 18 years ago...I have to agree with Mr. or Ms. Anonymous. The strophe
it spreads warm like rising oven air
cool like the first drink of water
it soaks through the wick of me still
while very good in isolation, doesn't fit with the rest of the poem. You are carrying forward, quite consistently, a metaphor of resonance, tuning forks, vibration. This strophe not only is unrelated, it counters the main metaphoric thrust. "[S]preads warm", "cool", "soaks through the wick" are all deadening images, not resonant or vibratory ones.
Uh, well, at least in my opinion. ;)
Carry on.
LeBrozover 18 years agoResonates with resonance
Each thought
Feeding on and triggering another
Well done.
TheRainManover 18 years agoI read the comments, and I don't think it needs too much tidying at all. The 'ed' on dissipated seems fine to me (I'm assuming that's what 1201 meant?).
I like the mood, and find it consistent throughout.
You have become an excellent editor of your own work (...remember the days when you wouldn't?)...the hard work shows.
Anonymousover 18 years ago...of your voting option I'm telling you this is a five - tidy it up - as 1201 said - and it'll be stellar.
Tess
