Responsibility

One word, and I am down upon my knees.
Without a hesitation I obey.
Silently I try to calm my pulse,
So I can hear the quiet things you say.

Your wishes are not hard or unexpected.
I know the things that I'm supposed to do,
But something somehow catches my attention:
I turn and throw a second glance at you.

Perhaps you don't react because you missed it,
It was but half a second's time delay.
I know that now's the time to leave your presence
And that I risk your wrath the more I stay.

You've turned away expecting my departure
Already waiting for my quick return.
And still I cannot make my body leave you,
Not when I still have lessons I must learn.

I steel myself to make the right decision,
My voice is but a whisper in the air.
I watch you turn back towards me in slow motion
And my heart pounds as though to say 'beware.'

First comes the penalty for hesitating.
Just hard enough to show that you're not playing,
It serves as reinforce and reminder
Of all the things that come from disobeying.

And after that you wait with some indulgence.
I've always done my best to be compliant.
Perhaps you're even just a little curious:
I've never been the kind to be defiant.

And so I force the words out through my terror
And cannot make myself look at your face.
I tell you all about my hesitation,
And how I still must learn to know my place.

You wait for one suspenseful, drawn-out moment,
Then break the silence with a word of praise.
You tell me how my honesty's a virtue,
And suddenly my mind is set ablaze.

And then there is another moment of silence
Before you tell me that, nevertheless,
My truthfulness cannot erase the crime
Of having a confession to confess.

I drop my gaze, I know what is expected:
This lesson I should already have learned.
Your perfect hands work to undo your buckle
As you prepare to give me what I've earned.

And as you wrap the belt around your fingers
You say you're in no mood for an objection.
You ask me for my silence through what follows,
To quietly accept your just correction.

I take a single breath and still my shaking
Preparing to be ready when you reach me.
I strain to keep my voice locked up and quiet
And not betray my feelings as you teach me.

I bite my lip and hope to keep my silence
Through everything to which I'll be subjected.
I wince, but hold my tongue when it begins:
It's sharper, harder, longer than expected.

Then finally--not soon enough--you finish.
You straighten and replace your belt once more.
I remain there frozen till you signal
At which point I return down to the floor.

You touch my cheek, one perfect, small caress.
Then turn away and gesture with your hand.
I jump to do what I should have done before
Once more eager for my lord's command.